I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
