I need help removing her.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
