she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
