sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
