This is not my ceiling
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
