You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm too high and old for this...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
