"it" just moved
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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