Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
no you cant smoke seaweed
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
