You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
