I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
