lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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