that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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