her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
