Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
