Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
