What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
