I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
