4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
