I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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