Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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