Its about making memories worth repressing
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
