There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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