if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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