Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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