Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
