Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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