Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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