Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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