brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
