So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
