I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
