I feel like abortions should bother me more
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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