oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
