My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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