He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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