I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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