do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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