i jhust puked up my retainher.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize