Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
