I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
