I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
