would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
