The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
