he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
