I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
