She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize