My room smells like vodka and shame
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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