All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
