I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
