sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
