I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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