I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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