Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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