you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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