i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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