who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
