need another drink. this is the easiest way
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
