You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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