Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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