So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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