This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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