I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
