Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
