her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
