Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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