I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
