Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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