holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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