I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
