I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
