Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
