how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
