if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
